Cece, Jim and Amanda
“Her coming from a family of 7 siblings is hard enough to get time for her and having the mentoring program has given her that opportunity to have another safe and caring environment where she can have time where its only about her and her plans for the future and to just have someone other than her family to talk to with no judgment of any kind.”
By Mentee Amanda
Growing up was hard. Being the second oldest out of seven meant I had a lot of responsibility. For as long as I can remember, my older sister and I would always help my mom with the kids. We would help change them, feed them, play with them, put them to sleep, etc. This also made it hard to do homework. As you can imagine, having 6 siblings isn’t quite peaceful, but we manage.
When I was a freshman in high school, I cared about school. However, towards the middle to end of freshman year I started to slack off and not care so much. I completely gave up and thought there was no point. I was introduced to Friends For Youth through the school, and little did I know it would change everything.
When I went to the first meeting, I only went because there was free food and it got me out of PE. Walking in, my initial thought was that there was no way that a mentor could help me, simply because they don't relate to me in any way. I was paired with Cece and Jim.
They both brought a great balance to my life. One helped me be more confident and put myself out there, while the other helped me realize life’s vital lessons, like how important jobs are, as well as making good first impressions and public speaking. Over the next four years, we did many things together and I had a lot of good experiences like going to Santa Cruz, visiting Instagram, watching lots of movies, hiking to Alamere Falls (this was really hard) and working out (this was also hard). I even got to go with my mentors on an international trip to London and the Amalfi Coast in Italy -- I had never been outside of the Bay Area before that. At the end of our first year mentoring, we went through a ropes course together, where at the end of it, I had bungee jumped off a platform even though I was terrified. Together they both teach me about careers and life. They both pushed me to be my best self. As time passed I started to care about school more.
However, when sophomore year rolled around things got rocky for me. I was unfortunately a rape victim. I remember screaming I wanted to kill myself in the parking lot of our apartment. My sister's friend held on to me while I cried, shouted, and pleaded that I wanted to die. In the time that I felt worthless, disgusting, alone, and completely shattered, both Cece and Jim were there for me. Although I have a very supportive family, my dad was too upset to talk to me and the only adults outside my family that helped me were my mentors.
The two of them and my mom combined helped me in ways I didn’t think were possible. After the incident, I started having panic attacks from anxiety and ended up making the decision with the help of my mentors to continue school through independent study at community college. Although difficult, this allowed me to focus on getting better mentally, physically, and emotionally. Another thing that helped was participating in Friends for Youth team building activities, such as boxing and going to Santa Cruz. This allowed me to interact with people and slowly learn how to socialize again.
I don’t think mentors at Friends For Youth get enough credit for what they do and how they impact the lives of mentees.
I honestly don’t think I’d be here today without the support I got from them, the school, and my mom. I’d love to also mention that I have not only graduated high school half a year early, but am now a Program Intern at Friends For Youth. I want to be in this work because I want to be a mentor someday, and know how important it is to be that person for someone else. What I learned is that experiences, good or bad, impact your life in ways you could never imagine. Now I know that I’m not a victim, I’m a survivor and it is with the help of others that I can stand tall today.
